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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?